FullCircle
04-03-07, 17:57
We had promised to get some small sailing boats to have a race on the village pond. Despite many hours trawling the web and the Fancy Goods shops in all the seaside towns I could visit, nary a tiddler boat could be found.
Howewver, a last sweep of Southend Seafront found us able to take advantage of a splendid cut price BOGOF offer, which we availed ourselves of, more of which later.
Well, we turned up just after 2pm to find Mr & Mrs Magna Carter outside the Hotel/Pub having a furtive fag before booking in.
Mr & Mrs Solene had already arrived, put their hiking boots on and headed for the hills in the beautiful surrounding National Trust land. No hanging about in bars for them, oh no. Well, not yet anyway.
So we booked in with the Antipodean running the place, and tried to reconcile bookings with people. Fortunately, they were able to let the room which was due to be occupied by one of our number, who were unable to come unfortunately.
So, having been shown our rooms, and put our stuff on hangers, we skittled down to the Public Bar. Amazingly, even though they had been given their room after us, The Magnas were sat in the bar, supping the head off a pint, with a further couple of pints lined up for the hitherto missing FullCircles. What a feat. I mean, did he have a chute in his room to transport him to the bar with such efficiency? Jeez.
So, we were sat there and MC got out his baby pics on the iProd. Not real baby pics you will understand, but the latest potential for squandering the MC fortune on large lumps of GRP and hanky material. The current front runner is a Gibsea 416. I think. We had a detailed technical discussion on parent disposal to possibly fund boat/retirement cruising plan, which came to no particular conclusion, fortunately.
So we sat there for an hour or two, observing the weather outside and then the phone rang. Miracles of technology, the other half of the Cambridgeshire Mafia was outside asking if he is in the right place. Technologically, as will be proven later, Mr Dougie Three Bottles was leaning heavily toward Ronald Reagan like Telly Remote operation, but he did manage to park the car next to the pond, more of which later.
After asking for a glass of red wine, and then being disappointed it wasnt a pint of Tanglefoot, he settled down in the Public Bar with us, and then there were 5, at least in the bar, with 2 on patrol in the hills.
Of course, bringing up the rear, and (as usual) fashionably late, up popped Mr & Mrs Trevera25, who also felt the need to phone Magna Carter when they were less than 50 yards away.
They of course had a pint or three, while the first arrivals had wisely moved to Coffee, in case we fell face first into the soup later. Wise move as it turned out, but ultimately had no effect on the final outcome.
It must be said, that Mrs T25 in a rush of indecision had brought half of Coco Chanels Spring Collection with her, apparently so she wouldnt clash with the wallpaper or summat, which also turned out to be a good move.
Mr & Mrs Solene were seen sneaking into the hotel around 5pm, and didnt spot us in the Bar(probably wise) and so went up to their room at the same breakneck speed that they had patrolled the area with all afternoon. As they have been married a long time, we will draw a veil over this, and leave the Dear Readers to draw their own conclusions.
So we all retired back to the rooms to prepare our glittering array of apparel.
Jim:
Shoes, Black, Shiny.Check.
Socks, Black, no holes.Check.
DJ and Trousers, No soup Stains.Check.
Bow Tie, Black.Check
Waistcoat, glittery, good pattern for hiding red wine mishaps. Check.
Cufflinks, Silver, Jet. Check.
Shirt. White, Formal, Wing Collar, Freshly Ironed. Where's me shirt? Where's me effin shirt??!!!! Sh@t,F@ck,f@ck. Green button down collar shirt it will have to be then. Seethe seethe. Calm down. B@gger.
Lynn, ever practical has brought a throw on number, rather than ball gown as previously possibly misinstructed. Very nice.
Telephone goes, its T25 who is still only 50 yards away. Hello? Click, Brrrrrr.... nothing. And again, and again, then the room telephone, and the room telephone again, same result. Must be the Spalding effect or similar.
Off we trot to T25 suite, and Lynn is pressed by Mrs T25 to share her good fortune and over abundance of ball gowns, and Lynn rightly picks the Black and White number which is class act and cut quite low, but not Jordan like. Mrs T25 looks radiant in red, and also displays womanly features quite prominently to top effect, not that I noticed of course.Ahem.
So we sashayed off to nicely laid out private dining room area, where Mr & Mrs Solene are tucked into 1st bottle of red, and looking jolly smart, although similar misinstruction, possibly on part of FullCircle means Mr Solene is jauntily attired in tie and blazer. Social gaffe notwithstanding, made not to check thread on getting home today. Yep, it deffo says black tie, so FullCircle in clear, no problem.Phew.
So we all had our photos taken, in a group, in pairs, and Me, Mr DT Bottles and Lynn as a threesome, no gossiping at the back there. After this, and returning to the BOGOF purchase, we presented all boats with a small framed montage of knotes with a nautically themed thing like lighthouse, ships wheel, or lifering as centrepiece. You could see the look of excruciated horror beneath the features having been presented with these pillars of naffness, until the penny dropped and everyone got the joke, sort of. FullCircles then garlanded with much deserved praise, thank you, Aww shucks.
Then possibly biggest gaff. We decided in a fit of enthusiasm to make the hotels job v.simple and arranged to have all comestibles and refreshments charged to one room, with vague promises to sort it out some time tomorrow. Mine was the room chosen as it happens. Thus relieved of any apparent responsibility the assemblage launched into the bun fight with considerable gusto, and we may have over ordered the wine somewhat as about a dozen bottles appeared, even 2 white. Dunno who ordered them, the Wusses.
Food was very well prepared, the menu very good, and as no one was looking anymore, I guess the prices were um, well, acceptable then.
At then end of the main course, we all got up to go and check the Lunar Eclipse, and out trailed the group into the car park, leaving a worried looking waiter bloke, as we had not told him our intention. Bravely he followed us out into the car park, and took orders for large Brandies, Irish Coffess, and with great aplomb, did a Jeeves thing and serves us outside on a silver tray. Nice one.
We stood out there trying to work out if we had missed it. One unidentifed forumite suggested that if e look away and then look back we would be able to tell if it was eclipsing or not eclipsing. Rejected I think. So then we got Mr Solene to get his camera out, and boy, this thing has a lens on it like Patrick Moores Newtonian telescope, and is 400 Gigapixels or something like that. After a shaky start, Solene discovers that the windscreen angle of his Focus is lined up-ish with the lunar event and proceeds to snap away. I hope he posts them here.
So back in for the dessert and cheese/biccies/port combo. All went swimmingly, and so is my head by this time. We eventually retired to the Public Bar, and having paid for the staff to stay on until 1am for the Bar, got blotto. I am sure we righted the worlds wrongs, but I am afraid it must have been too traumatic, as my brain has blotted out the last hour or so, and quite right too with that amount of the devils liquid consumed.
Breakfast was fully attended, and of course, the T25s were both fashionably late and only picked at the nicely received Full English. Amazingly, both mana C and DT Bottles had somehow turned on the telly and watched the rerun of Match of the Day. I was astounded.
We settled up, and FullCircle manfully does not faint clean away when presented with a 2 foot long bar bill, with numbers to justify at the bottom. Really, that much? Coo.
Finally, it was Dougies turn to entertain us with his Tour De Force array of power assisted water craft kept in the boot of the car for just such an occasion.
First up was a balloon boat, which you blow up through the below the waterline exhaust, which inflates the balloon, storing the air. Place in water, and the air escapes from the balloon throught he exhaust and thus thrilling and pleasing the onlooking crowd. Well, yes, that was the intention. Dougs first attempt pathetically failed to clear the pontoon, so it was reinflated and relaunched by MC.
Unforturantly, the wind had got up to about F5 and the balloon acted like a slowly decreasing spinnaker, and was hurtled up toward the reeds in the other end of the pond. It did however do a couple of pirhouettes on the way into a non recoverable position in the reeds.
In the meanwhile Dougie has a gleam in his eye and a performance enhanced RC model MOBO in his hand which he launched at high speed to round up the distressed balloon boat. At this point point Dougie, with a hint of overthrottle and a failure to exercise an appropriate steering technique, stuff the rescue craft into the reeds, too far out for us to reach. Violent reverse thrust applied, no boat movement, its stuck.
Not to be defeated, Dougie reaches into the boot of the car and extracts his piece de resistance - an RC controlled twin fan hovercraft. That'll do it Dougie!
Err, no. The hovercraft is a little unwieldy in th ehigh winds and Dougs mastery as Coxswain of the hovercraft cannot save the day.
FullCircle reaches into the boot of his Rescue Command Vehicle and brings out 2 lenghts of 3 strand poly rope and tries to lasso the stricken powerboat and pull it across the reeds to safety. FullCircle and T25 managed to drag it up a bit, but it then inverted and caught very firmly in the reeds.
MC joins in with second bit of rope, hoping his Roy Rogers technique will triumph. Not a bit of it. The craft is now settling down by the stern, and all looks lost.
However, Mrs T25, in addition to the Spring Collection of Coco Chanel, has also brought her fashionable wellies, size 7. It is up to FullCircle to attempt a waded rescue, and so gingerly steps into the Village Pond morass, pleasingly only half way up the boots, so no wet socks after all. Hero of the Day, and thus photographed.
We had attracted a small crowd by then, so we all said our goodbyes and departed. The FullCircles were later seen skulking around the Essex Boat Jumble.
Thanks to all that attended, it was a super night, and we have vowed to have another one in the next closed season.
We thoroughly enjoyed the weekend, and it has cemented yet more friendships around this place, which is the best bit.
Thanks all,
and please post the pictures
Jim & Lynn
FullCircle
Howewver, a last sweep of Southend Seafront found us able to take advantage of a splendid cut price BOGOF offer, which we availed ourselves of, more of which later.
Well, we turned up just after 2pm to find Mr & Mrs Magna Carter outside the Hotel/Pub having a furtive fag before booking in.
Mr & Mrs Solene had already arrived, put their hiking boots on and headed for the hills in the beautiful surrounding National Trust land. No hanging about in bars for them, oh no. Well, not yet anyway.
So we booked in with the Antipodean running the place, and tried to reconcile bookings with people. Fortunately, they were able to let the room which was due to be occupied by one of our number, who were unable to come unfortunately.
So, having been shown our rooms, and put our stuff on hangers, we skittled down to the Public Bar. Amazingly, even though they had been given their room after us, The Magnas were sat in the bar, supping the head off a pint, with a further couple of pints lined up for the hitherto missing FullCircles. What a feat. I mean, did he have a chute in his room to transport him to the bar with such efficiency? Jeez.
So, we were sat there and MC got out his baby pics on the iProd. Not real baby pics you will understand, but the latest potential for squandering the MC fortune on large lumps of GRP and hanky material. The current front runner is a Gibsea 416. I think. We had a detailed technical discussion on parent disposal to possibly fund boat/retirement cruising plan, which came to no particular conclusion, fortunately.
So we sat there for an hour or two, observing the weather outside and then the phone rang. Miracles of technology, the other half of the Cambridgeshire Mafia was outside asking if he is in the right place. Technologically, as will be proven later, Mr Dougie Three Bottles was leaning heavily toward Ronald Reagan like Telly Remote operation, but he did manage to park the car next to the pond, more of which later.
After asking for a glass of red wine, and then being disappointed it wasnt a pint of Tanglefoot, he settled down in the Public Bar with us, and then there were 5, at least in the bar, with 2 on patrol in the hills.
Of course, bringing up the rear, and (as usual) fashionably late, up popped Mr & Mrs Trevera25, who also felt the need to phone Magna Carter when they were less than 50 yards away.
They of course had a pint or three, while the first arrivals had wisely moved to Coffee, in case we fell face first into the soup later. Wise move as it turned out, but ultimately had no effect on the final outcome.
It must be said, that Mrs T25 in a rush of indecision had brought half of Coco Chanels Spring Collection with her, apparently so she wouldnt clash with the wallpaper or summat, which also turned out to be a good move.
Mr & Mrs Solene were seen sneaking into the hotel around 5pm, and didnt spot us in the Bar(probably wise) and so went up to their room at the same breakneck speed that they had patrolled the area with all afternoon. As they have been married a long time, we will draw a veil over this, and leave the Dear Readers to draw their own conclusions.
So we all retired back to the rooms to prepare our glittering array of apparel.
Jim:
Shoes, Black, Shiny.Check.
Socks, Black, no holes.Check.
DJ and Trousers, No soup Stains.Check.
Bow Tie, Black.Check
Waistcoat, glittery, good pattern for hiding red wine mishaps. Check.
Cufflinks, Silver, Jet. Check.
Shirt. White, Formal, Wing Collar, Freshly Ironed. Where's me shirt? Where's me effin shirt??!!!! Sh@t,F@ck,f@ck. Green button down collar shirt it will have to be then. Seethe seethe. Calm down. B@gger.
Lynn, ever practical has brought a throw on number, rather than ball gown as previously possibly misinstructed. Very nice.
Telephone goes, its T25 who is still only 50 yards away. Hello? Click, Brrrrrr.... nothing. And again, and again, then the room telephone, and the room telephone again, same result. Must be the Spalding effect or similar.
Off we trot to T25 suite, and Lynn is pressed by Mrs T25 to share her good fortune and over abundance of ball gowns, and Lynn rightly picks the Black and White number which is class act and cut quite low, but not Jordan like. Mrs T25 looks radiant in red, and also displays womanly features quite prominently to top effect, not that I noticed of course.Ahem.
So we sashayed off to nicely laid out private dining room area, where Mr & Mrs Solene are tucked into 1st bottle of red, and looking jolly smart, although similar misinstruction, possibly on part of FullCircle means Mr Solene is jauntily attired in tie and blazer. Social gaffe notwithstanding, made not to check thread on getting home today. Yep, it deffo says black tie, so FullCircle in clear, no problem.Phew.
So we all had our photos taken, in a group, in pairs, and Me, Mr DT Bottles and Lynn as a threesome, no gossiping at the back there. After this, and returning to the BOGOF purchase, we presented all boats with a small framed montage of knotes with a nautically themed thing like lighthouse, ships wheel, or lifering as centrepiece. You could see the look of excruciated horror beneath the features having been presented with these pillars of naffness, until the penny dropped and everyone got the joke, sort of. FullCircles then garlanded with much deserved praise, thank you, Aww shucks.
Then possibly biggest gaff. We decided in a fit of enthusiasm to make the hotels job v.simple and arranged to have all comestibles and refreshments charged to one room, with vague promises to sort it out some time tomorrow. Mine was the room chosen as it happens. Thus relieved of any apparent responsibility the assemblage launched into the bun fight with considerable gusto, and we may have over ordered the wine somewhat as about a dozen bottles appeared, even 2 white. Dunno who ordered them, the Wusses.
Food was very well prepared, the menu very good, and as no one was looking anymore, I guess the prices were um, well, acceptable then.
At then end of the main course, we all got up to go and check the Lunar Eclipse, and out trailed the group into the car park, leaving a worried looking waiter bloke, as we had not told him our intention. Bravely he followed us out into the car park, and took orders for large Brandies, Irish Coffess, and with great aplomb, did a Jeeves thing and serves us outside on a silver tray. Nice one.
We stood out there trying to work out if we had missed it. One unidentifed forumite suggested that if e look away and then look back we would be able to tell if it was eclipsing or not eclipsing. Rejected I think. So then we got Mr Solene to get his camera out, and boy, this thing has a lens on it like Patrick Moores Newtonian telescope, and is 400 Gigapixels or something like that. After a shaky start, Solene discovers that the windscreen angle of his Focus is lined up-ish with the lunar event and proceeds to snap away. I hope he posts them here.
So back in for the dessert and cheese/biccies/port combo. All went swimmingly, and so is my head by this time. We eventually retired to the Public Bar, and having paid for the staff to stay on until 1am for the Bar, got blotto. I am sure we righted the worlds wrongs, but I am afraid it must have been too traumatic, as my brain has blotted out the last hour or so, and quite right too with that amount of the devils liquid consumed.
Breakfast was fully attended, and of course, the T25s were both fashionably late and only picked at the nicely received Full English. Amazingly, both mana C and DT Bottles had somehow turned on the telly and watched the rerun of Match of the Day. I was astounded.
We settled up, and FullCircle manfully does not faint clean away when presented with a 2 foot long bar bill, with numbers to justify at the bottom. Really, that much? Coo.
Finally, it was Dougies turn to entertain us with his Tour De Force array of power assisted water craft kept in the boot of the car for just such an occasion.
First up was a balloon boat, which you blow up through the below the waterline exhaust, which inflates the balloon, storing the air. Place in water, and the air escapes from the balloon throught he exhaust and thus thrilling and pleasing the onlooking crowd. Well, yes, that was the intention. Dougs first attempt pathetically failed to clear the pontoon, so it was reinflated and relaunched by MC.
Unforturantly, the wind had got up to about F5 and the balloon acted like a slowly decreasing spinnaker, and was hurtled up toward the reeds in the other end of the pond. It did however do a couple of pirhouettes on the way into a non recoverable position in the reeds.
In the meanwhile Dougie has a gleam in his eye and a performance enhanced RC model MOBO in his hand which he launched at high speed to round up the distressed balloon boat. At this point point Dougie, with a hint of overthrottle and a failure to exercise an appropriate steering technique, stuff the rescue craft into the reeds, too far out for us to reach. Violent reverse thrust applied, no boat movement, its stuck.
Not to be defeated, Dougie reaches into the boot of the car and extracts his piece de resistance - an RC controlled twin fan hovercraft. That'll do it Dougie!
Err, no. The hovercraft is a little unwieldy in th ehigh winds and Dougs mastery as Coxswain of the hovercraft cannot save the day.
FullCircle reaches into the boot of his Rescue Command Vehicle and brings out 2 lenghts of 3 strand poly rope and tries to lasso the stricken powerboat and pull it across the reeds to safety. FullCircle and T25 managed to drag it up a bit, but it then inverted and caught very firmly in the reeds.
MC joins in with second bit of rope, hoping his Roy Rogers technique will triumph. Not a bit of it. The craft is now settling down by the stern, and all looks lost.
However, Mrs T25, in addition to the Spring Collection of Coco Chanel, has also brought her fashionable wellies, size 7. It is up to FullCircle to attempt a waded rescue, and so gingerly steps into the Village Pond morass, pleasingly only half way up the boots, so no wet socks after all. Hero of the Day, and thus photographed.
We had attracted a small crowd by then, so we all said our goodbyes and departed. The FullCircles were later seen skulking around the Essex Boat Jumble.
Thanks to all that attended, it was a super night, and we have vowed to have another one in the next closed season.
We thoroughly enjoyed the weekend, and it has cemented yet more friendships around this place, which is the best bit.
Thanks all,
and please post the pictures
Jim & Lynn
FullCircle