first boat this weekend

My wife and I are going for our first weekend down to Sovereign Harbour (E'bourne) where our new boat is moored. This is our first boat and we're both really excited (like going to the fair when children). How long do people reckon it will take her to realise she hates boating?

Congrats. Keep the trips really short to start seems best. We didn't go out at all for the first 2 weekends (cos it didn't work...)so she's dead keen now. Don't go out unless it's lovely weather either, otherwise it's "always raining".

The broker is excellent - because it's our first boat they're spending a couple of days with us going through handling the boat, manouvering etc. We have to move the boat from it's current mooring (the sales pontoon) to our birth so that's the first "trip". Depending on the weather we may go out to sea on Sunday. She makes me laugh, though - she wants to buy all sorts of stuff for it - a new set of cutlery, duvet, blankets, kettle(!), plates, etc. It's only a small (25') boat!!!

Don't knock it, being keen is half the battle. Likewise we are new to boating, and it was my wife's initial idea to buy our boat. New curtains, crockery, kettle; it all goes to make the boat, our home from home. Her eyes light up when she is talking about our boat, you would think she has been boating for years. My wife is not the most confident person moving around the outside, much prefering to stay in the cockpit. She has now said that she will stay at the helm and I can jump ashore to tie up. My only regret is that she never came up with the boat owning idea 20 years ago. I broached the idea of spending summer 2002 living aboard a suitable sized boat cruising inland waterways and I was not shot down in flames. My mind is now exploring suitable craft and what we can afford. Who knows, we may yet do it, having a keen wife is THE difference.

Buying the boat, I must admit, was my idea and it's taken me a good few years of "going on about it" before I wore her down, and we differed about how much to spend. Now she seems quite into it - but we haven't been out yet. This is the first time the boat will be ready and I don't know how she's going to react to being cold, wet and chucked about a bit (assuming the weather is good!)

I guess the message board software could do with a tweak as I appear to have posted twice. Doh!

Now, in my experience guide the wife towards a large set of cutlery, ie, as large amount as the amount of accomodation on the largest craft you ever imagine owning. From there onwards when looking at the boat you would really like you can say "and we already have the cutlery for it" My wife bought a twelve place setting for our six berth boat but did I complain NO. In fact from a timid water person it is now she who is suggesting summer cruising destinations which are at the limits of my ambitions. And I just know that when the brochures are out, the cutlery will be a major factor.

Trouble is that some times they pretend to like boats just because it pleases you, Then they go on a bad trip but put on a brave face. Then they go on wonderfull trips for years but just give you ear ache about the bad one. Mine says she likes boats but hates the sea. Also boats make her sick. Last conversation on the subject she said. " Can we go further down Britainy this summer cos she's seen the rest" !! Thats if she decides not to have a divorce in the meantime. So if my writting gets a bit confused. Now you understand why!!

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A couple of tips: 1 Be sure it's really great weather. Women hate being cold. Esp. when they dont really want to be right there at the time.

2 Go slow : don't push it to warp 9 certainly in some choppy waters. I did it (70mph in a 5ft chop ) and i will never forget the look of fear and hate i got.

3 Don't take risks :don't cruise around on fuelvapors, Stay in on windy days, allways keep shore in sight, just everything you would get a kick out of .

Keep the above in mind and you'll do just fine. I tried all these thing and costed me at least 2 weeks of bad noise and an ugly picture.

Good luck with the new boat

Thanks - all advice appreciated!

My only concern is that the weather for this w/end on S.Coast probably won't be great...ah, well....

- Andrew

If the boat hasn't got a heater - take one with you. Try to meet other couples also staying on their boats and socialise as much as possible. If you can make it interesting, comfortable and fun then hopefully you will both look forward to future trips. It is good fun but it is also early in the season and the weather may not be kind. Have a good time and report back to us how you got on.

The weather doesnt look too bad for Sunday, Andrew. Spend Saturday settling in and learning a bit of boat handling from your broker and poke your nose out of the harbour on Sunday, if you fancy it. Good luck!

Thanks. When you say buy a heater what sort do you mean? We went to Argos last week and bought a fan heater that hopefully will do the job (it has a frost setting!)

Can't wait to get out there!

I would echo all the above -

Priorities are 1) toilet compartment 2) warmth including the ability to serve a cup of tea 3) able to take HER friends (do not get confused here) 4) at least the first season LISTEN when she tenatively suggests the day / weekend she feels like 5) involve her at her pace in the running and provisioning of the boat. Draw up basic checklists for everything from provisions to start up with her and alternate who goes through them - it needs to become her hoby - then a shared one - then fun!

If all the above seems like hard work then I apologise but having seen the difference between those who get to share the experience and where one party is going along for the ride convinces me the investment is worthwhile. It is also the only way you will enjoy days anything other than warm and calm (98% in UK)

PS and of course she should dick the cutlery etc - bet you are looking at the boaty bits!!!

Whatever she wants to buy for it, just say yes. Suggest take her to buy some new deck shoes. pay any price! nice warm fleece? again any price?

My problem is I want to upgrade by maybe 70K and missus wants to move house....any tactical suggestions?

David

I've been thru this before, but a while ago. Here's how it goes.

1. Get lots of brochures of boats, aand discuss boats and houses in dreamy detail for several evenings. Agonise, but pleasantly. Revise the fine details of a dream boat. Fine details are : 1) the external colour 2) the colour of the carpets. The answers to these are "blue", and " contrasting deep blue carpet inside"

2 Then one night, arrive home in mental turmoil. Oh dear, I'm so sorry dear. What? Well, I know I shouldn't have but I've gone and puit a deposit down on a (£x thousand/million) pound boat, I don't really know what I was thinking and I'm not sure how we'll manage.

3. Shut up and await her response.

4a: She goes ape, theatens dire consequences OR 4b: she says, Well, um there's that er money I hadn't really wanted to mention etc, and I suppose we don't need to ... anyway, this boat WHAT'S IT LIKE? Your answer is "blue outside, with contrasting deep blue carpet on the inside".

This always works! If it's 4a, then run outside and burbly into the mobile phone and pretend you've cancelled it. But usually, it's answer 4b! Hooray! So you can order it for real!

Which is why we have a rather over-ambitious boat, and live in a rabbit hutch.

Brillient!! inspired!!

Can I pull it off.

ahhhhhhh!

Whilst cutlery was certainly a vital factor in my wife's interest in boating it was the choosing material and making of new curtains that really clinched it .

But, But, But,

Can the pannel deal with this problem.

We bought a Princess in mint condition. Wife picked it though I was thinking more of a trawler yacht. It was some thing to do with ergonomitry which as I understand is some thing to do with her bum fitting the seats !! Anyway we start colecting things for the boat. I'm down the chandelers buying best ropes lovely new fenders and a nice new auto pilot. Wifes ramshacking the kitchen finding old warn out pans A fish slice that I remember from my mothers when I was 6 years old. I'm 52 now!! and knives and forks with a rusty green sort of look. I went out and bought a new dinner service nice new glasses and I've now replaced the knives and forks and frying pan with new ones. Yes and a new carpet annd a hover as well. Can the pannel help.

Now, dear readers, H seems to be having a problem getting his wife dreaming of a new boat.

Firstly, extensive scientific reseach has gone into the method above, and my own findings were frighteningly effective. I actualy pretended that we had boughy a boat costing seven times as much as the house, and she was okay about it. Eventually I had to wimp out. Well, actualy I said that the survey was no good ahem.

Unfortunately H's wife is fine about rusty things, and even busted bogs. So the following, which can be used, may well not work on H's wife. They are here for reference by others only. But if he did the whole lot of these on ONE DAY, they might work. Although, she might then just decide that she hates boats altogether.

1. Open up the engine hatch, complain about something complicated, then going off on pretext of finding spares, sit in pub for an hour or two, then return, and restart matts patented etc.

or 2. loosen off all the drawer and cuboards so they fall about in the kitchen and simulate knackered boat.

3. Turn off the water supply to the washbasin that she uses.

4. Switch off hot water, or just use loads of it (switch tap on at same time as shower) and blame **** boat design.

5. Switch off some other fuses to make the lights go off, or the telly not work etc.

6. Put some thick carpet or plywood under existing carpet, so that everyone bangs their head (no good if wife v short)

7. Embarrass her. Switch off the fridge for a while. Then invite lots of boaty mates round, for which she gets all hostessy, only to find that there's no ice. Blame **** boat. Go round to mates nice new boat with working fridge. Make sure that mate has bought loads of ice beforehand.

8. Simulate leaky boat. While she is elsewhere, before bedtime, dribble a panful of water on her side of the bed, and/or the chair where she sits. Note that a real leak would be in exactly the same place, not just chucked about. Make sure headling above is wet, so she can "find" the problems herself.

...Or all of above, in order to get her thinking that praps a new boat would be a good idea, any one of which would work fine on my wife.

In severe cases where wife (eg H's) is made of sterner stuff:

Perhaps Colin could pretend to be a boat inspector and condemn it?

Or, perhaps H could go and place a deposit, and then check himself into the loony bin as suffering from total loss of memory, get rescued by wife, and (the killer this) tell her that YOU AREN'T WELL ENOUGH TO DRIVE HOME. Then find receipt for deposit on new boat a few days later.

My technique was more straightforward,

1)Breakdown, wallow about in meter swell whilst hove too whilst diagnosing problem. repeat. 2)Scare partner with attempting to moor in force 6 with one engine, whilst overheat alarms are going, and she has to jump onto pontoon with mooring warp. Repeat. 3)Show partner plenty of new boats with shiny new cabinets. 4)Convince partner that because its a new boat it will be cheaper than our old boat, because its on warranty, and therefore even though it costs 50% more than old boat we will actually be able to afford it more because the cost will be predictable. And it wont breakdown. 5)Take partner for expensive weekend in Dublin staying at the Shelbourne just to clinch the deal.

Oh, sorry, thats what I did to convice myself that we should get a new boat.

I am Nick's wife and it wasn't the curtains that clinched it for me it was the fact that after eight years of being bored to death about car facts I fancied and change of subject.

I wonder? How did it go?

Great, thanks!

The weather on Saturday, although forecast to be bad, was in fact excellent and we "moved in" - cutlery, pans, plates etc. She started to realise it was quite nice when we were sat eating lunch, sun blazing and the gentle lap of the water against the hull. The marina is very nice with quite a few shops, restaurants etc so she liked that. Then, on Sunday, we went out for a spin and she had the biggest grin on her face. When we went onto the plane for the first time she literally squealed with delight and wanted more, more, more. She's now actually started talking about getting a bigger boat in a couple of years (and she's talking about something maybe 36' - this is quite a step up from a 25!!!)

- Andrew

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NO Andrew what he meant was how did it go getting it back on the pontoon/mooring!

Just be thankfull you have the boat!

Where you are anchored,and with whom is the issue - way ahead of wha you are drinking out of and eating from (although what you are drinking is way up there somwhere!)

been there done that (what a c**k up)