View Full Version : What's the worst thing you can do to a Scotsman?

05-12-04, 00:09
Nail his feet to the floor and put on a Jimmy Shand record.

Must go and see to the hogs. Good night all.

<hr width=100% size=1>My father was born in Govan. They had a ferry at the bottom of the garden.

05-12-04, 00:41
Take away his ability to moan? joking!

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05-12-04, 07:26
Remind him just how much the Holyrood parliament building cost.

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05-12-04, 07:27
It's very nice and thank you for your generous contribution.

<hr width=100% size=1>My father was born in Govan. They had a ferry at the bottom of the garden.

05-12-04, 07:39
No prob's , we took it from your oil revenues that we stole from you.

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05-12-04, 10:30
Rebuild Hadrian's wall - with him on the North side !

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05-12-04, 11:10
It would appear to be reminding you of the black gold.as it killed this thread stone dead

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05-12-04, 11:15
make him move to england?

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05-12-04, 12:36
Don't you mean make him move back to Scotland?

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05-12-04, 12:52
Remind him that union with England was prompted by successive failures to establish an independent Scottish colony in the New World.

Sorry about this boring post ;-)

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05-12-04, 15:39
Tell all and sundry exactly what he wears under the kilt!

Unless, of course it is nothing.

(I am being the straight man here)

Regards Briani

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05-12-04, 15:51
Hide the Fray Bentos !

<hr width=100% size=1>Tony

05-12-04, 15:53
Ask him which part of Yorkshire his parents came from!

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05-12-04, 16:08
Refuse to batter his Mars Bar.

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05-12-04, 16:15
In the beginning when God was creating the world, he was sitting on a cloud telling his pal the Archangel Gabriel what he had planned for Scotland.

" Gabby," says he, "I'm going to give this place high majestic mountains, purple glens, soaring eagles, streams laden with salmon, golden fields of barley from which a whisky coloured nectar can be made, green, lush, spectacular golf courses, coal in the ground, oil under the sea,...gas . . . "

" Hold up! Hold up!" interrupted Gabriel, " Are you not being a bit too generous to these Scots ? "

Back came the Almighty's reply:

" Not really, wait until you see the neighbours I'm giving them !!! ".

- Nick

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05-12-04, 16:21
And after all we've done for you!

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05-12-04, 17:15
An Englishman went to a church, and on the wall was a telephone with a sign - "Direct line to God - £10.00 a minute.

That's too expensive, he thought.

Then he went to a church in Wales, and on the wall was a telephone with a sign - "Direct line to God - £10.00 a minute".

The same in Ireland - on the wall was a telephone with a sign - "Direct line to God - £10.00 a minute".

Then he came to Scotland, and there was the telephone - Direct line to God - 5p an hour".

He goes to see the minister. "How come it's £10.00 a minute in England, Wales & Ireland, but onlt 5p for an hour in Scotland?"

"Well you see, from here it's a local call ! ! "

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05-12-04, 17:22
Jim, how true, how true.

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05-12-04, 17:58
Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it.

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05-12-04, 19:07
Put lemonade in his whisky!!!

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05-12-04, 19:45

<hr width=100% size=1>Mines a Crocodile sandwich & make it Snappy

05-12-04, 20:27
Why this terrible petty obsession with money? As stated above, it's very nice and thank you for your generous contribution.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/factual/rams/archivehour.ram>http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/factual/rams/archivehour.ram</A>

05-12-04, 21:29
Lean over the rail with a ha“penny between yer teeth

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06-12-04, 00:22
The worst thing that could ever happen to a Scotsman is for somebody to call him a B****y Englishman

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06-12-04, 02:36
I love it when an American asks a Jocklander if Scotland is in England.

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06-12-04, 04:46
So, theres nobody in Scotland pays tax?
We'll pay you back in oil, Oh! Forgot we've already done that!

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06-12-04, 09:30
Remind him that the Act of Union was sealed in payment of a lot of hard cash and now, with devolution, we'd like it back, plus interest.

Or remind him that a government that owes much of its majority to MPs elected in Scotland, plan to abolish Scotland's traditional regiments...

<hr width=100% size=1>Two beers please, my friend is paying.

06-12-04, 15:26
What? Canada a failure?!!

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06-12-04, 15:42
Ignore him?

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06-12-04, 19:26
Nah, walk into his local and let it be known how generous he's been /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

Regards, Jeff.

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