View Full Version : TCM - easily the worst sports reporter at the World Cup

14-06-06, 01:06
The good news at WorldCup 2006 is that - according to a little handout given to all fans - we *are* allowed to mention the War, But it's actually illegal to give Nazi salutes or wear SS armbands. And we can surely all agree with that, can’t we?

Going to modern-day Germany and giving Nazi salutes would no doubt be simply rude to the welcoming and democratic German population. It's time to forgive and forget.

Okay, some picky historians might mention that Germany was also democratic in the 1930s, and that Hitler actually polled almosttwice as many votes as their current Chancellor did in also-democatic elections in 2005. And others might remark that Nazi Foreign Secretary Ribbentrop came to England in 1934 and gave Nazi salutes with no risk of breaking the law- but we can surely let bygones be bygones. Can’t we?

The latest match saw Brazil gracing the stage of the superb Olympiadstadion, astounding the crowd in much the same way as did the majestic Jesse Owens in 1936 in the very same stadium, except this time watched by Sepp Blatter. Instead of his erstwhile near body-double, it has to be said - Herman Goering - another jet-setter of his day and also with colourful links to controversy.

Earlier in the day it was something of a “phoney” world cup day, with France being lethargic and Switzerland much the same reaching a 0-0 draw over 90 minutes, a match that reflected their inaction in the lazy late summer and autumn of 1939.

But we all do – and did – expect better of France. Victory in 1998 (and 1918) - but will their 2006 campaign fizzle into badly-led acrimony and confusion now led by an ageing Zidane instead of also ageing Pétain? Let’s hope they avoid the embarrassment of any further parallels with Vichy-style capitulation whilst under the influence of a united Fatherland once more.

Talking of parallels, the 38th to be precise - South Korea are doing well in their tournament, much better than USA, again.

Last out of the blocks for their last world-championship sharp-shootering trip to Germany, the yanks didn't get Over There - in England - until November 1942. But judging by their first performance here, they seem certain to be first to take the plane home again - “For you, Dubya, ze Vorld Cup eez over!” An enticing duel between the USA and Iran is therefore unlikely - we'll have to wait a few more months for the real thing.

No Russia in the finals this time, so no chance of a footballing re-run of the latter stages of WW2 between the home nation and the Reds. However, the south American countries harboured hundreds of Nazi escapees, and nouveau-riche Russians now live in almost every country in the world, so there’s plenty of scope for a fittingly firestorming final in Berlin once again.

But there is at least some ruskie representation in Germany- a Foremost Former Foe amongst the Socialist Soviet States - Ukraine. Now back in Germany in force, the high temperatures this summer might see them re-enact their “scorced earth” policy once again as they move towards a denoument in Berlin. But the group stages need to be tackled first. Will their sheer determination – and perhaps another surprise very very cold snap in the weather – allow them to stage a dramatic turnaround as they did in 1941-42, moving their defences back and winning a spectacular Zhukov-style victory with a late pincer movement around the midfield of the Axis forces? Instead of the Urals, there's the offside rule these days to contend with, so it might not be so easy.

The next exciting match takes place today between Germany and Poland. The airhorns will be blaring from the crowd and alarming more than a few of the loal population, but it's far less serious today that it was when the German Junkers "Stukha" bombers did as they dived out of a clear blue sky over Poland on September 1st 1939. It's all more friendly now - but can the Germans launch wave after wave of succesful aeriel Blitskrieg yet again?

Poland held out against the German onslaught 67 years ago for four weeks – just about the amount of time they need to make the final, but they surely won’t be able to afford the same injuries.

More news soon.

14-06-06, 10:48
Hitler got the same percentage of the vote as Tony Blair I think.

14-06-06, 11:03
Yep, both around 44%. Though that meant Hitler got over 14million votes against about 13 million for Blair. Perhaps they *did* need Lebensraum?

14-06-06, 20:15
It's just a game of feckin football...