Yachting and Boating World forums: Dear EA

I'm sorry to hear that your budget this year is smaller than hoped for, and as a result of this, you're having to cut the quality of the services which we are paying you for.

The sadder news is, my own budget is under pressure too, what with the price of fuel, insurance, servicing, alcohol, food, and moorings, not to mention the 10% of my entire boating budget you took.

So, as a result of this, I'm afraid I'm going to have to make some cuts too.
Next year, I shall only send you 75% of my annual River licence fee, and expect it to be sent to me as usual.

If you don't comply with my request, I shall change the name of my boat to that of a very similar boat, and photocopy the portion of the licence that is displayed on the windscreen of my boat, effectively 'cloning' it.

Whats more, I shall recommend that all my friends all do the same.

Given the fact there are only around forty different kinds of Mobo on the upper Thames, this should cut your revenue down to an amount which reflects the service you actually offer.

I appreciate this could cause a little confusion, what with half the boats in the Marina being called 'No Regrets' but it has it's advantages....

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The scourge of Windsor, and notorious founder member of the 'Upper Thames Birchwood Massive' now outlawed by the EA and River pressure groups, currently planning a nice comfy retirement in the aft cabin of a Broom.
Now can anybody recommend any non-marking slippers?

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