graham
regular
Reged: 16/05/2001
Posts: 5958
Loc: South Wales
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This is what marriage is really all about
An old man ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinkin! g, 'Tha t poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything.
The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered......................
'THE TEETH.' 
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http://banjocoronado25.blogspot.com/
All Hardwood used in Banjos restoration comes from sustainable sources. Usually the Boat Club Skip :-)
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tonybarebones
regular
Reged: 20/09/2006
Posts: 204
Loc: Dinas Powis, Vale of Glamorgan
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The old ones are always the best... heres another oldie.. YOU'VE GOTTA LOVE. DRUNK PEOPLE, A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning! He slams the door and returns to bed. 'Who was that?' asked his wife. 'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,'he answers. 'Did you help him?' she asks. 'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!' Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!' The man does as he is told, gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?' 'Yes,' comes back the answer. 'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband. 'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark. 'Where are you?' asks the husband. 'Still over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.
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mrbloto
regular
Reged: 31/12/2007
Posts: 192
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i can see why you make good shipmates by your jokes ha, ha ,juust like that
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