You\'ll never guess what happened to me..
There I was on my way to the yacht club, ambling gracefully along the road with my zimmer in overdrive when... S*d me, a van pulls up and I'm bundled in the back, whisked away and sold as a sex toy by the white slave traders. I was lucky coz the police bought me, but whilst en route to the WPC dorm I was abducted by an alien spaceship, who, after gang probing me, took me to a far away planet full of beautiful women to be used as a SUPREME baby maker. My missus found out and dragged me home and grounded me coz my room was untidy, I was tidying said room when some bloody Kimatolla hit squad burst in and slung me on this mysterious Island somewhere off the coast of Essex where I met KevB who said he's been stuck here since mid August then asked me to marry him but I refused so we're living in sin. Barry D should be joining us soon because they're on their way round to his house. PHEW!!
Have any of you lot had a day like that?
I can resist anything, except temptation.