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  1. #21

    Default Re: er um expert assistance needed

    Now, dear readers, H seems to be having a problem getting his wife dreaming of a new boat.

    Firstly, extensive scientific reseach has gone into the method above, and my own findings were frighteningly effective. I actualy pretended that we had boughy a boat costing seven times as much as the house, and she was okay about it. Eventually I had to wimp out. Well, actualy I said that the survey was no good ahem.

    Unfortunately H's wife is fine about rusty things, and even busted bogs. So the following, which can be used, may well not work on H's wife. They are here for reference by others only. But if he did the whole lot of these on ONE DAY, they might work. Although, she might then just decide that she hates boats altogether.

    1. Open up the engine hatch, complain about something complicated, then going off on pretext of finding spares, sit in pub for an hour or two, then return, and restart matts patented etc.

    or 2. loosen off all the drawer and cuboards so they fall about in the kitchen and simulate knackered boat.

    3. Turn off the water supply to the washbasin that she uses.

    4. Switch off hot water, or just use loads of it (switch tap on at same time as shower) and blame crap boat design.

    5. Switch off some other fuses to make the lights go off, or the telly not work etc.

    6. Put some thick carpet or plywood under existing carpet, so that everyone bangs their head (no good if wife v short)

    7. Embarrass her. Switch off the fridge for a while. Then invite lots of boaty mates round, for which she gets all hostessy, only to find that there's no ice. Blame crap boat. Go round to mates nice new boat with working fridge. Make sure that mate has bought loads of ice beforehand.

    8. Simulate leaky boat. While she is elsewhere, before bedtime, dribble a panful of water on her side of the bed, and/or the chair where she sits. Note that a real leak would be in exactly the same place, not just chucked about. Make sure headling above is wet, so she can "find" the problems herself.

    ...Or all of above, in order to get her thinking that praps a new boat would be a good idea, any one of which would work fine on my wife.

    In severe cases where wife (eg H's) is made of sterner stuff:

    Perhaps Colin could pretend to be a boat inspector and condemn it?

    Or, perhaps H could go and place a deposit, and then check himself into the loony bin as suffering from total loss of memory, get rescued by wife, and (the killer this) tell her that YOU AREN'T WELL ENOUGH TO DRIVE HOME. Then find receipt for deposit on new boat a few days later.

  2. #22

    Default Re: er um expert assistance needed

    My technique was more straightforward,

    1)Breakdown, wallow about in meter swell whilst hove too whilst diagnosing problem. repeat. 2)Scare partner with attempting to moor in force 6 with one engine, whilst overheat alarms are going, and she has to jump onto pontoon with mooring warp. Repeat. 3)Show partner plenty of new boats with shiny new cabinets. 4)Convince partner that because its a new boat it will be cheaper than our old boat, because its on warranty, and therefore even though it costs 50% more than old boat we will actually be able to afford it more because the cost will be predictable. And it wont breakdown. 5)Take partner for expensive weekend in Dublin staying at the Shelbourne just to clinch the deal.

    Oh, sorry, thats what I did to convice myself that we should get a new boat.

  3. #23

    Default Re: The Cutlery\'s the key

    I am Nick's wife and it wasn't the curtains that clinched it for me it was the fact that after eight years of being bored to death about car facts I fancied and change of subject.

  4. #24

    Default Re: first boat this weekend

    I wonder? How did it go?

  5. #25

    Default Re: first boat this weekend

    Great, thanks!

    The weather on Saturday, although forecast to be bad, was in fact excellent and we "moved in" - cutlery, pans, plates etc. She started to realise it was quite nice when we were sat eating lunch, sun blazing and the gentle lap of the water against the hull. The marina is very nice with quite a few shops, restaurants etc so she liked that. Then, on Sunday, we went out for a spin and she had the biggest grin on her face. When we went onto the plane for the first time she literally squealed with delight and wanted more, more, more. She's now actually started talking about getting a bigger boat in a couple of years (and she's talking about something maybe 36' - this is quite a step up from a 25!!!)

    - Andrew

  6. #26

    Default Excellent! nm


  7. #27

    Default Re: first boat this weekend

    NO Andrew what he meant was how did it go getting it back on the pontoon/mooring!

  8. #28

    Default Re: Matt\'s patented boatbuying gambit Dosent Work !!

    Just be thankfull you have the boat!

    Where you are anchored,and with whom is the issue - way ahead of wha you are drinking out of and eating from (although what you are drinking is way up there somwhere!)

  9. #29

    Default Re: first boat this weekend

    been there done that (what a c**k up)

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