Over the weekend, I was sailing from Cherbourg to Yarmouth in my Sadler 32. My holding tank was full and, unfortunately, the discharge pipe was blocked. We were able to pee over the side but a dodgy order of moules-frites mean that most of the crew had more substantial toilet needs, that were worsening by the hour.
We had booked a berth in Yarmouth on the walk-ashore pontoons but, when we got within VHF range and called the Harbour Office to tell them that we'd be arriving late, it appeared that there had been a mix-up and our berth had been given to another Sadler who had spun some cock and bull story about having booked in advance. We were therefore advised to raft up alongside him when we arrived, and told that, because of the inconvenience involved, we wouldn't have to pay any berthing fees for the night.
On arrival, we tied up and crept ashore, crapped and crept back again. Carefully inserted corks were then the order of the day, until a further dawn foray to the toilets for "corks-out". Unfortunately, at this point, the holding tank started to fizz and rumble ominously, so we hastily got back on board, untied and fled - which was lucky because if we'd remained alongside, the overflow pipe would have discharged the contents of our tank all over our neighbour, rather than in the proximity of Solent Bank Buoy. He obviously slept blissfully through the whole thing, because we didn't hear a peep.
I reckon he'd be pretty grateful to us if he knew, don't you?
Itis apis spotanda bigon etoo