Here's my story.
It's pathetic really.
In 2005 I bought a ferrocement boat, although I have often easily convinced people that I won it as part of a Nigerian scam.
I 'retired' in 2007.
Moved from Japan (where I had been teaching English for 17 years) to Mexico, where the boat was.
On the first day in the yard, I fell in love.
Big damn duh.
I spent a year faffing around either in the boatyard or in the bay.
I returned to Japan because the man I had fallen in love with was 'busy' so I thought I'd pine and get paid, instead of pine in the bay and spend the cruising kitty.
By the way, I'm a beginner sailor and was a beginner in love.
In 2009, after a year in Japan, when I went out to socialise a total of 5 times and saved my money to the point of insanity, I had a messed up year of land travel in Asia(which I know like the back of my hand anyway, so what a waste!) and misery on a couch in the USA.
It's a long story and I'm going to make it so short that I won't even touch upon it.
Back in Mexico since last Christmas, I have taken the boat out 3 times since February.
I am pathetic.
The vessel works well now (it had some battery issues) and I hope to start sailing her lots and lots this coming season, now that it isn't so darned hot and the threat of hurricanes is abating.
The love is over, by the way. I really loved the man but I realised that I was sad and confused more often than being happy and clear about my life and the direction it was taking.
And I cannot afford to have a wishy washy direction, as I am quite challenged for funds and need to be careful with my money.
So where to now?
Do I go all out and find crew for the elusive Pacific crossing next spring?
Or do I cop out and go back to Japan for one more year?
These are rhetorical questions only I can ponder.
The point of this post, I guess, is that sailing away isn't easy, and I feel like a total loser for having got nowhere since last March, when I 'retired' for the second time.
By the way, I guess I've spent 5000 bucks on living expenses since last year.
The rest has gone on bills for my little Empire and unnecessary flights.
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Thread: 14,000 Dollars Later
05-10-10, 18:52 #1
14,000 Dollars Later
Last edited by CodStewart; 05-10-10 at 19:56."Only The Educated Is Free"
05-10-10, 19:08 #2
Nice to see you back Maria!
05-10-10, 19:13 #3
Yeah, every forum needs a resident loser.
"Only The Educated Is Free"
05-10-10, 19:21 #4
that doesn't sound like much of a 'loser' to me !
Lots of experience in exciting parts of the world, enough romantic involvement to write two and a half novels, a sense of self-deprecating humour that shines through like a comet, and an easy sense of you tackling the challenges that lie ahead with enthusiasm - and not hiding your head under the pillow.
Go on go fo it !I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I sail.
05-10-10, 19:23 #5
"Loser" is subjective. OK. you've "lost" 14K bucks. But "the vessel works well now", so SOME of the 14K was invested in the boat, the rest in YOU.
Personally, I see you as forum resident fighter. Re crew for Paciific - if you don't get a grip, I'll send Popeye over!
05-10-10, 19:25 #6
Maria - I don't think you are a loser ! I've lost my boat. Now - that IS serious !!! Lenseman's going to take me out, though !!!
I've been following your blogs and FB and I'm enjoying the reading.Iím an angel and when someone breaks my wings, I simply fly on a broomstick. Iím flexible.
05-10-10, 19:47 #7
05-10-10, 19:55 #8
Thank you for your empathy but I still don't feel proud of what I have done. All the confusion, the sadness, the going round in circles. Or have I just experienced a bit more of life and what it can throw at you when you least expect it?
I have a lot of regrets which I am trying to turn into lessons learned.
Again, thank you for your kind comments and support.
I have another month or two to decide whether or not to return to Japan, or continue onwards and forwards with the pleasure vessel."Only The Educated Is Free"
05-10-10, 21:10 #9Registered User
Location : Devon
- Join Date
- Jan 2002
Why go backwards in life?
You cannot 'unlearn' what you now know. Use that knowledge, harness the humour, the optimism and your obvious love of a challenge.
It doesn't have to take you across the Pacific in one leap, just get used to moving the boat a little more often....
And hey, don't be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, just some of us make bigger ones! And as my beloved is wont to say there is no such thing as a mistake just a learning experience.
Guess I should have leaned a lot over my lifetime then...
You go girl.
05-10-10, 21:48 #10
Why would you consider a year spent learning life's many lessons a wasted time and to consider yourself a loser for coming through a tuff time wiser and a bit better equiped for life and all the nasties that lye in wait for the unwary.
If you have a few regrets then you are in a big club with many millions of others who also have learned that the world is not perfect and can catch the unprepared out at every turn.
But you will regret less that what you have done and experienced rather than what you didn't do and not achieve.
Life is to short and precious to sit and worry about what you can't do anything about, go out and enjoy life in all it's diversity and complexity.
As to the problem of relationships they are always complicated and if both partners don't want the same thing from it then there is only one inevitable out come and conclusion, you were not with the right person- sorry but it is true, you have not wasted your life though, what you really have done is reduce by 1 the number of men that wont be your right 'other'.
I have a very good female friend (not my wife who is way smarter than me) who regularly comes sailing, telling of her latest disappointment in love and we have a phrase that works well at cheering her up and bringing a smile to her face, Men are stupid lets throw rocks at them'.
We, men , are often to dumb to see a good thing when we have it in our hands, that is my opinion of many of the men I have known throughout my life when they come to me to tell of a collapsed relationship that they didn't know was going bad and then later realizing that what they have thrown away was what they wanted and needed but were to dense to see until the damage was irreparable.
So life is good, go have fun!!!
Last edited by mandlmaunder; 05-10-10 at 21:50.Youth is wasted on the young
Fair winds and beautiful sunsets to all who sail for pleasure