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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Posts
    799

    Default Re: Why my wife won't come sailing?

    8 years does seem a very light sentence but he was found guilty of unlawful killing without malice after striking a plea deal.

    Presumably he is able to afford a better lawyer than some uneducated black teenager from the slums abandoned by his father, who would be facing a life behind bars.

    Justice in America being, like the Waldorf Astoria, open to all.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Bristol Channel
    Posts
    330

    Default Re: Why my wife won't come sailing?

    I for one find it strange they accepted his plea guilty of lesser crime than murder, for surely pre-planned murder must be a strong suspicion here. A violent thief at best, a bastard and a liar
    A boat is for going places

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Essex
    Posts
    19,921

    Default Re: Why my wife won't come sailing?

    I understand that this sort of result is designed to ensure that both sides are equally unhappy. If there was a prospect that he would get off scot free, then the lesser charge is vastly preferable. He gets shut up for a while, maybe as little as eighteen months, but loses any prospect of inheritance, and the family get some justice, even if limited.
    Far away is near at hand in images of elsewhere

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    8,295

    Default Re: Why my wife won't come sailing?

    Interesting as this thread already is, I was thinking its title would be a pretty solid starter for a hundred-plus replies...

    ...personally, SWMBO stopped sailing with me because:

    a) she needs some (any) idea of what her role is, since her presence obstructs the lines I'd normally attend to myself, solo, but...

    b) she isn't actually remotely interested in learning what her simple tasks are, and has invariably forgotten them;

    c) she objects to the necessity to shift her personal ballast to trim the boat, needs telling to change side-decks on tacks, and invariably gets stuck halfway, leaving me to hold the boat upright ;

    d) my stress with the things I need her to do (of which she has no idea) alarms her, just as the prospect of capsize alarms me; and

    e) however short a time we've been out, she begins asking when we're going back in.

    It's not a problem, I always wanted to be able to singlehand, so her reluctance to join me is just a minor, irrelevant disappointment. Although I admit there are many days when I'd benefit from her, ahem, nine stone, on the gunwale beside me.

    The thing it's taught me is not to take a know-nothing crew on any boat, especially a sensitive dinghy, if one couldn't manage solo...

    ...even more so if their presence will actively obstruct the single-handed running of the boat.

    Funny thing, I often read online of sailors' wives who are terrified when the yacht heels. I understand that in a dinghy, which won't recover without sharp reactions by the crew, but why are wives troubled by the heeling of a ballasted boat that will right herself automatically by the weight in her keel? Hasn't the difference between dinghy waywardness and yacht docility been made clear?

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Over here
    Posts
    433

    Default Re: Why my wife won't come sailing?

    Quote Originally Posted by dancrane View Post
    Interesting as this thread already is, I was thinking its title would be a pretty solid starter for a hundred-plus replies...

    ...personally, SWMBO stopped sailing with me because:

    a) she needs some (any) idea of what her role is, since her presence obstructs the lines I'd normally attend to myself, solo, but...

    b) she isn't actually remotely interested in learning what her simple tasks are, and has invariably forgotten them;

    c) she objects to the necessity to shift her personal ballast to trim the boat, needs telling to change side-decks on tacks, and invariably gets stuck halfway, leaving me to hold the boat upright ;

    d) my stress with the things I need her to do (of which she has no idea) alarms her, just as the prospect of capsize alarms me; and

    e) however short a time we've been out, she begins asking when we're going back in.

    It's not a problem, I always wanted to be able to singlehand, so her reluctance to join me is just a minor, irrelevant disappointment. Although I admit there are many days when I'd benefit from her, ahem, nine stone, on the gunwale beside me.

    The thing it's taught me is not to take a know-nothing crew on any boat, especially a sensitive dinghy, if one couldn't manage solo...

    ...even more so if their presence will actively obstruct the single-handed running of the boat.

    Funny thing, I often read online of sailors' wives who are terrified when the yacht heels. I understand that in a dinghy, which won't recover without sharp reactions by the crew, but why are wives troubled by the heeling of a ballasted boat that will right herself automatically by the weight in her keel? Hasn't the difference between dinghy waywardness and yacht docility been made clear?
    Then get a boat in which your wife can accompany you in (preferably with a cocktail cabinet and comfortable double bed), but not get in your way. You get to go sailing more frequently, your wife doesn't feel abandoned at home & you get a more comfortable boat to sail in. Win-Win-Win as they say!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    8,295

    Default Re: Why my wife won't come sailing?

    Yeah thanks for that, I'm way ahead of you...as soon as I actually do "win-win-win" enough money, it'd be my first purchase.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Greenwich
    Posts
    6,515

    Default Re: Why my wife won't come sailing?

    Quote Originally Posted by scruff View Post
    Then get a boat in which your wife can accompany you in (preferably with a cocktail cabinet and comfortable double bed), but not get in your way. You get to go sailing more frequently, your wife doesn't feel abandoned at home & you get a more comfortable boat to sail in. Win-Win-Win as they say!
    And that's route we went down (albeit by slow moves up in boat size). She still sails with me because:
    - all the things below have encouraged her to do more and enjoy more
    - she wanted to change the parts she could do something about without sailing skills so took on domestic things she would never take as her role at home ( so provisioning a lot better than my Dad and I did, getting rid of the "roughing it" bits like sleeping bags and researching and booking restaurants)
    - found that she was good at helming upwind as long as somebody told her where the wind was when she took the helm. Still no idea of wind direction twenty five years later but good helming at all points but dead downwind)
    - she realised that she never needed to learn anything she wasn't interested in ( and fortunately helming and avoiding being hit by ships day or night were early areas she learnt quickly and well so we can do a few nights at sea with her as lookout)
    - as time went by took over passage planning as that could all be done in advance with no shouting
    - moved up her comfort demands gradually as we aged, so a boat that won't capsize, a fresh cup of tea in rough weather, a cabin with its own door, a warm place to sail, two bathrooms so guests will come back

    But the biggest thing is she was slightly interested and we both keep working to avoid either of us getting stressed

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    8,295

    Default Re: Why my wife won't come sailing?

    Quote Originally Posted by RupertW View Post
    ...two bathrooms so guests will come back.
    Buyers tempted by charter-style boats with eight berths and one lavatory, take note.
    Last edited by dancrane; 07-11-18 at 14:25.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    19,936

    Default Re: Why my wife won't come sailing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Poignard View Post
    8 years does seem a very light sentence but he was found guilty of unlawful killing without malice after striking a plea deal.

    Presumably he is able to afford a better lawyer than some uneducated black teenager from the slums abandoned by his father, who would be facing a life behind bars.

    Justice in America being, like the Waldorf Astoria, open to all.
    I've watched quite a few of the American TV crime programs so I consider myself to be an expert (!)

    The fact is that the Police were probably struggling to get evidence for a conviction. Mr Bennett was probably worried that there was a possiblity of a conviction so rather than either side taking a chance a deal was struck. It is a bit sickening though. Be careful of who you sail with. I have actual experience of sailors flipping their lids, fortunately not my own crew. It's a surprise who cracks, often the last person you'd expect.
    If I'd wanted to live in a Banana Republic I'd have gone to South America.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Boat Orwell - Me Norwich
    Posts
    6,291

    Default Re: Why my wife won't come sailing?

    Quote Originally Posted by savageseadog View Post
    I have actual experience of sailors flipping their lids, fortunately not my own crew. It's a surprise who cracks, often the last person you'd expect.
    Are you trying to tell us something?

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