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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    5

    Default Guest Etiquette when Cruising

    Hello,

    We have been invited to spend a week with a couple on their 60 something sailing yacht in the med this summer. I understand that we will have our own bathroom and cabin and that the yacht has all mod cons but as we donít have a yacht, and never will, what is the etiquette by way doing things and paying for things like fuel and parking etc? Would an opening gift of Gin or Rum be more appropriate than wine perhaps? I really want the week to go well so any suggestions or information would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Southminster, essex
    Posts
    9,233

    Default Re: Guest Etiquette when Cruising

    Do not snore, do not flush loads of paper down the heads & do not use too much water.
    Oh!!!! & Do not put you b..y Ipads & handbags on the chart table.

    When going ashore do not wait until the skipper has locked everything up & stepped ashore & then say " Oh dear I have forgotten my jumper, coat, wallet handbag etc etc!!!" because it gets damned annoying after the tenth time.
    Last edited by Daydream believer; 23-07-19 at 06:42.
    It is all down to the fact that my wife does not understand me !!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Northern summers aboard Ningaloo otherwise Perth WA
    Posts
    138

    Default Re: Guest Etiquette when Cruising

    I frequently have guest crew aboard. If they are personal friends I don't usually expect any contribution for short stays although an alcoholic gift is always welcome. I would stick to whatever you (or your hosts) normally drink.
    If it is a longer trip I might suggest we share food expenses and split restaurant bills (or take turns to pay).
    If I offer crewing opportunities to people I don't know so well, I so on a shared cost basis which would include sharing marina fees and fuel (but not boat maintenance). We usually have a notebook that everyone writes down what they spend and make a balancing payment to equal things out at the end of the trip.
    My own boat is 11m so costs are modest. Could be very different on a 60' in the med!
    Last edited by eastlands; 23-07-19 at 06:51.
    Ningaloo - Hanse 385

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Farnham, Surrey
    Posts
    21,157

    Default Re: Guest Etiquette when Cruising

    Quote Originally Posted by Daydream believer View Post
    Do not snore, do not flush loads of paper down the heads & do not use too much water.
    Oh!!!! & Do not put you b..y Ipads & handbags on the chart table.

    When going ashore do not wait until the skipper has locked everything up & stepped ashore & then say " Oh dear I have forgotten my jumper, coat, wallet handbag etc etc!!!" because it gets damned annoying after the tenth time.
    60’ plus boat? Is the owner the skipper or do they employ crew? Are you there as ‘just guests’ or ‘guest who are expected to help as crew’?

    There’s a slightly different etiquette/expectation for either situation imho.
    Semper aliud

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Currently at anchor in the Med
    Posts
    433

    Default Re: Guest Etiquette when Cruising

    The most common issue with guests is not understanding how boats work with things like electricity and plumbing - show consideration by ensuring you learn how to use the toilet properly, ask how much water should you use and make sure you are careful (even though on a 60 foot they probably have big tanks and a water maker to turn seawater into fresh, water is still a finite resource) , make sure you turn off electrical when not in use, check where to wear shoes and where to be barefoot (some people hate shoes on their expensive teak decks) - just showing some understanding that a boat is a unique environment will go a long way. As for finances, normally guests will accompany the owners shopping and at least pay for their own food, perhaps offer to cook a good meal and certainly treat them to a meal ashore if you go out. Berthing fees and fuel are probably not something to get involved in - a) in a med summer for a 60 foot it could be hundreds of euros a night in some places and the owners would be paying it anyway, b) you are a guest and you wouldn't pay for say rent on someone's flat if they invited you for a week - however, if there is somewhere you really want to go that involves a marina stop that normally the owners wouldn't have then you should certainly offer to pay then. Enjoy your trip

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Essex
    Posts
    22,448

    Default Re: Guest Etiquette when Cruising

    We have had a number of guests for a week or so. Our usual routine has been to share daily shopping costs only, generally quite a modest amount, and certainly not harbour dues. In every case the guests have treated us to a meal out at the end.

    But I don't own a 60ft boat. Someone that well off might be offended by an offer to pay daily costs, so I think that a bottle gift would be welcomed by anybody, and you would then have time to judge the mood before offering to take them out for a meal. My brother has one particularly wealthy friend and I am sure that the hospitality is purely on the basis of my brother and his wife only having to contribute their company.
    Far away is near at hand in images of elsewhere

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Surrey and Gosport UK
    Posts
    1,584

    Default Re: Guest Etiquette when Cruising

    It would seem the choice of gift is a personal one but a case of Ott or such like might be appreciated. IMHO each owner has their own pet hates from croissant crumbs on teak decks ( a case of the K2 cleaner is most important for many med boat owners) to keeping the showers clean (water marked shower chrome in heads is hated by crew). If they have a water maker on board then using showers not an issue but just don't block the loo or damage the vacuflush etc. If air conn on board keep the doors closed. Don't play music too loud on board or race around the bay in the Williams jet ski or take it up the beach and get sand in it of course or bump into the mother ship . Don't spread sun creams around the cushions or teak decks or leave shoes about ( place shoes in wicker basket provided by boat crew when not onshore) . Enjoy the trip.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Exmouth, Devon
    Posts
    731

    Default Re: Guest Etiquette when Cruising

    How well do you know them?
    Could just ask them in terms of 'we haven't stayed on a yacht before - what are your usual arrangements with guests?'
    As others, a decent gin or rum should go down well as a starter.
    Will the yacht be berthed for the duration or cruising?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Gone cruising
    Posts
    2,326

    Default Re: Guest Etiquette when Cruising

    Couple cruising on a 60-something footer? They don't need your money. Bring a bottle of something nice that you can enjoy together, like a Talisker Skye to help break the ice. Wine is a bit cheap for the size.

    Fit all your stuff into a single soft bag per person. Do not, under any circumstances bring a hardshell case or anything with wheels on it. On smaller boats you will not be let aboard with them, on larger boats they'll just immediately dislike you for an inconsiderate landlubber.

    Be flexible with arrival and departure times/dates or locations.

    Listen to the skipper and crew, even if it doesn't immediately make sense to you.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    2,827

    Default Re: Guest Etiquette when Cruising

    Comment from a good friend as we boarded his large yacht for a Caribbean trip: "Just remember that the crew are my employees, not your servants. They will happily help to do what you ask, but please do not give them orders."

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