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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    457

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Don’t teach the wife. Unless it is a very rare relationship where she will let you.
    Don’t just count to 10, count to 20

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    West Sussex / Hants
    Posts
    28,771

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    ' AND where she will let you '

    I found any constructive criticism on helming technique works rather poorly on ladies, with a very negative feedback in all sorts of ways.
    Anderson 22 Owners Association - For info please ask here or PM me.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Posts
    1,426

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Whatever your approach, make sure you persevere over the next 2 or 3 years.

    Otherwise your upcoming 7 year old will upstage her mum and that will be it.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    West Sussex / Hants
    Posts
    28,771

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    No adult human, gatling gun, armour or missile system can beat a Snotty in an Oppie
    Anderson 22 Owners Association - For info please ask here or PM me.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Southminster, essex
    Posts
    9,433

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Quote Originally Posted by maby View Post
    My wife and I did the Day Skipper Practical together and in the assessment on the last day, the teacher told me that I was good on the helm, but terrible at deck work. He said that my wife was the exact opposite - her rope work and sail management was excellent, but she could not steer the boat. He passed us both on the condition that we reversed roles for a few months!
    So you both failed but he gave you both a pass
    says a lot for that qualificationdoes it not?
    It is all down to the fact that my wife does not understand me !!

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Southminster, essex
    Posts
    9,433

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Our solution was for the wife to start playing golf 2-3 times a week. No problem deciding who does what on the boat now������
    It is all down to the fact that my wife does not understand me !!

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Shropshire
    Posts
    8,898

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    It's very difficult for a husband to teach a wife anything and further complicated when possible damage to a boat is concerned. Maybe your wife should go on a Dayskipper course on her own.
    I hate to see the 'traditional' situation of husband bawling a string of orders to a wife from behind the wheel/tiller while his partner gets things wrong and is shouted at again - not a recipe for marital harmony.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Bristol
    Posts
    561

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    To improve your teaching it is worth finding another person (defo not your wife) to instruct. Blindfold them and give them instructions to come alongside etc. That will show you how clear and calm you have to be. Once you're happy with doing this in a variety of situations then you'll be able to let your wife helm in close quarters calmly too. Your confidence will probably transfer to her.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Essex
    Posts
    22,866

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Quote Originally Posted by mattonthesea View Post
    To improve your teaching it is worth finding another person (defo not your wife) to instruct. Blindfold them and give them instructions to come alongside etc. That will show you how clear and calm you have to be. Once you're happy with doing this in a variety of situations then you'll be able to let your wife helm in close quarters calmly too. Your confidence will probably transfer to her.
    Brilliant idea. Anyone care to lend me a boat to practice on?
    Far away is near at hand in images of elsewhere

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Romsey, Hants
    Posts
    1,218

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Swmbo is a very keen sailor, excellent marina rope handler and steady helm. Until recently never parked the boat. I now look for guaranteed wins when we get to our home berth, namely slack water, gentle wind onto the berth and I just stand by the shrouds where she normally does and talk her in. So far (3 times) 100 percent success. My insurance is lots of fenders both sides and the remote for the bowthruster in my hand (never used so far). I deliberately put myself too far away to grab the wheel or throttle, keeps me under control. Worst case is we glide bow first onto the walkway and we have a bow fender or we get stranded mid alley between the pontoon and the next boat, who cares. I am more confident of being returned to base when I keel over for some reason.

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