Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 35
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    On the Celtic Fringe
    Posts
    14,259

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Quote Originally Posted by maby View Post
    The correct number of fenders on a boat is easy to calculate - it's the periphery of the boat divided by the diameter of a fender.
    I'd be interested to see the research on that.
    Cynical Scottish almost retired engineer who sails a Gib'Sea 96.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Brixham
    Posts
    933

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    My wife does all the helming. This became a natural thing to do after the first time we picked up a mooring buoy and she didn't have the strength to lift it to the deck. When it comes to Marina berthing we have the same system as Martin and Rene which also works well for us. Lou always moors the boat whatever as she is now the most experienced at it, and I am the most agile. At sea she also helms as I have the muscle to trim sails etc. This also means that I am the tea boy. We can if necessary do each others jobs but were happy as it is. I feel blessed to have such a wonderful wife to sail with.
    If voting changed anything, they wouldn't let you do it.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Devon
    Posts
    1,488

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Very early on in our sailing careers we employed a yachtmaster examiner for a day simply to help me learn how to handle the boat in a marina. It was some of the best money we ever spent. It became abundantly clear to us that I was more than capable of handling the boat and that my husband functioned better at ropes etc... From that day onwards I had the confidence to handle the boat in close quarters.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    West Sussex / Hants
    Posts
    28,660

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    It's sadly common to see the ' skipper, boss ' hubby on the tiller / wheel and throttle while the wife / girlfriend has to haul the anchor up etc - years ago my Mum had her hand badly injured doing this, resulting in a dash to Lymington and 999 ambulance ride.

    It's in the interest of the skipper for self preservation if they go over the side, to brief the crew on boat handling ASAP, and if being a gentleman ( not being sexist but it's usually a husband and wife team ) do the heavy work.
    Anderson 22 Owners Association - For info please ask here or PM me.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    SW Scotland
    Posts
    19,541

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Quote Originally Posted by SvenH View Post
    I take my role as skipper very seriously with regards to safety of boat and occupants ...
    Perhaps that's the issue. I know that many people prefer to have "a" skipper, and it works well for them, but it really isn't any more necessary than having one person who is in charge of the family car, whoever is driving. Perhaps it would be worth sharing the skipper role, or if you prefer to have one take a day each in turn.

    It is just that as we get in to a situation where I need to gather all the info at once but my wife has a better overview than me because she has been at the helm for some time, I still take over because that gives me a quicker feel for the situation, but that does not help in building confidence for my wife.
    The first thing in that case is to avoid, between you, getting into situations where urgent action is needed as much as possible. The second is to stop taking over. because, as you recognize, that's a sure-fire way to stop confidence building and destroy what's there.

    My young crew is rapidly learning how to take charge of the boat (the only thing I still always do is pontoons, and I hope that will change next year) and my motto for that learning process, as with everything else, is "You got yourself into that; you get yourself out of that." In other words, unless actual disaster is imminent I keep my nose out of it. It's very tempting sometimes just to take over, but it won't do any good.

    None of this is intended as any sort of personal criticism. Changing the dynamic between two people who know each other very well is always tricky, Good luck!
    "Seamen are always wanting to do things the proper way; and I like to do them my way."

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    West Sussex / Hants
    Posts
    28,660

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Anderson 22 Owners Association - For info please ask here or PM me.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Essex
    Posts
    22,654

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    My wife used to do much of the helming but has been less confident since we moved up to 34 ft. I regret this now, but like most couples we have worked out our modus operandi.

    It is relatively common to see on other boats the wife doing the helming stuff while the man does the more athletic business with ropes etc, but there should be no hard and fast rule. It's not as if there were no boats with all-woman crews. A friend had a Sadler32 for many years and it was the wife's job to raise the 35lb CQR by hand. My wife is happy to raise the anchor, but she has an electric winch to help her.
    Far away is near at hand in images of elsewhere

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    228

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Best experience is being allowed to make mistakes, and not being reprimanded for them.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Manchester
    Posts
    17,115

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Quote Originally Posted by Gerry View Post
    Very early on in our sailing careers we employed a yachtmaster examiner for a day simply to help me learn how to handle the boat in a marina. It was some of the best money we ever spent. It became abundantly clear to us that I was more than capable of handling the boat and that my husband functioned better at ropes etc... From that day onwards I had the confidence to handle the boat in close quarters.
    Did exactly the same in Lagos Marina in 2007.... even after 30 years of sailing experience, marina handling was something I'd rarely been responsible for, and wasn't good at. A couple of months later I did a weeks training ending with my Yachtmaster exam, and my wife did Competent Crew at the same time.
    Narrowboating From Stretford!!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Essex
    Posts
    22,654

    Default Re: Learning to share duties with my other half

    Quote Originally Posted by Richard10002 View Post
    Did exactly the same in Lagos Marina in 2007.... even after 30 years of sailing experience, marina handling was something I'd rarely been responsible for, and wasn't good at. A couple of months later I did a weeks training ending with my Yachtmaster exam, and my wife did Competent Crew at the same time.
    The modern AWB makes it fairly easy to manoeuvre in marinas, though the arrival of twin rudders has made it a better spectator sport. Some people never seem to acquire the spatial awareness needed, as the scars on my boat show. I don't see any difference between men an women in this respect, and possibly men are liable to be more cavalier in their attitude to other people's property. For myself, I found that I was having difficulty judging distance while wearing sunglasses, so I always take them off before any close encounters. Watching experts coming in can often be revealing, and I still learn from seeing others. The one thing the experts all have is that they do everything slowly.
    Far away is near at hand in images of elsewhere

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Latest YBW News

Find Boats For Sale

to
to