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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
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    Caribbean at the moment
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    23,960

    Default panto act 2 - snow white 7d\'s, RobinsonC and thick plot

    The story so far

    robinson crusoe played by unclealbert, possibly, has crashed in on the dimly-lit ybw panto Snow White and the 7 dwarves, being (quite badly) produced by brendans and masively screwed up by shipswoofy as HSofficer having a fight with No1moose who sposed to do the lights, whilst jezbanks (who is also doing sdome scriptwriting) and depsol try and finish the set.

    Act 1 began with the wicked queen accidentally being played by powerskipper, with hlb as snow white. At the end of act 1, liverpool has blown up and powerskipper has swapped to being the snow white and tome is now the wicked queen. The original snow white (hlb) threw up all over the seven dwarves. Hlb then had a jolly send off with the usual treacle mine sketch.

    Highlights of scene 1 inlcude of course liverpool being blown up and somehow the scriptwrites getting £3m quid for doing the nhs panto as well. The treacle mine sketch was a bit rubbish cos we've seen it before.

    =======
    act 2 scene 1 : back in the palace with tcms copper mirror and tome the wicked queen

    tome wicked queen "mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all"

    mirror: it is defintely not you, it's snow white

    tome wicked queen: "jeez, get a grip you stupid mirror - you obvioulsy know nothing about beauty! BSI standards plainly state that blah drone etc hence tsk, you're useless. and hopeless, i had a crap mirror once before and obviously will have to sell you on ebay

    mirror: er but i'm a magic mirror and erm well there haven't been any complaints before and erm

    tome: sorry but i think we all know what craop you talk, completely out of date and i have devised an alternative 24-channel beauty-detection system so you're fired.

    mirror: Hm, well well you might have a point, on reflection. Geddit? on reflection!

    audience: groan


    ========================

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Dorset/ Hampshire. south coast
    Posts
    12,216

    Default Re: panto act 2 - snow white 7d\'s, RobinsonC and thick plot

    Tome after an evil cackle and a rubbing of his twisted hands ,decides that the mirror needs re coppering with his patented "copper anti foul mouse no 1 formula",


    this would give a "anti foul mouth" finish to the mirror BOOM BOOM [ groan]
    [URL="https://www.facebook.com/buoyfun/[URL]
    Mendezmarine.co.uk

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    East Coast
    Posts
    20,977

    Default Re: panto act 2 - snow white 7d\'s, RobinsonC and thick plot

    despite this bad news for the mirror, he decided that the show must go on..... "lets face it", he thought to himself, "there's a long list of b-list celebs that need the commercial benefits of being seen with the ybw crowd....."

    "... except ones from Liverpool....."

    At this point, the Ugly Queen Tome decides that a script is needed......

    BrendanS has been in charge of scripts, but is still busy trying to get his voice recognition software to document the rather challenging line 'The Treacle mine men's mirrors meant more than most men's mothers...'

    Confused by his inability to make a computer do EXACTLY what it was told, Brendan has retired to a corner to weep.

    So Ugly Queen Tome volunteers to write the rest of the script. This is a problem.

    14 "Cackles" later, along with a few "He's behind you" (causing great concern to Lost Boy, Shy_Talk)... the cast are getting bored.....

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Caribbean at the moment
    Posts
    23,960

    Default Re: panto act 2 - sceneII

    {At the cottage with dwarves and snow white. Very wobbly dim lights illuminate the stage, populated by equally dim actors. Actors! Hah! that's a laugh.}

    snowwhite powerskipper: hello dwarfs.
    jimi - look shuttit willya!
    snowhite - oops sorree. Anyway, i was wondering what your favourite food was, hm?
    jimi. ooh well, that different erm i thin probly whisky stew with haggis or mebbe erm fish would do nicely.
    snowhite powerskipper : Oh, i wasn't going to make it for you - like i said i was just wondering, see? I also wonder what is your favourite boys name, what word you say most often, your favourite colour, whether you pick your nose or ears most often, and what animal you would most like to be and your most frequently used term of abuse?
    jimi: "Rudolph", "the", "red", "nose", "reindeer", "you daft cow"
    audience : groan

    =======

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Looking out of the window
    Posts
    13,957

    Default Re: panto act 2 - sceneII

    {While it has to be said that the lights are very wobbly and a bit dim, and the cast are a bit wobbly and very dim the set is, as of now, finished and isnt in the least bit wobbly or in the slightest bit dim.}

    Back in the (now finished) cottage, Recently evil but now reformed Powerskipper and her 7 dwarfs (greedy) had ushered Jimi back into the brig and were preparing to get on wth the show.

    Distracted by recent desires to bump of Snow White 1 (hlb), Powerskipper set about the task of finding the one element that this pantomime has until this point lacked...

    ...Prince Charming (Good luck finding one of those, yea right. Put it away Lakesailor)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Adrift
    Posts
    1,005

    Default Re: panto act 2 - sceneII

    “Why is the wicked queen tome standing outside in the cold, chain eating packets of crisps?” asked small boat champ? “Is he alright ?” Do not despair, says Snowwhite P, entering stage left, she says it relaxes him. Well I wish he`d pack it up says champy, you can`t get past the stage door for empty wrappers.
    Shame about Liverpool says Dougie T B, not surprised Says Old Git we all told Das Boot to get his gas work done professionally but he has no ears.
    Are you getting into bed with the magnificent eight then?
    Eight!! exclaimed Snowwight P, there should only be seven, tearing back the bedclothes she revealed an extra dwarf laying on the end of the line with a sheepish grin and 2 fish fingers stuck in his ears
    He`s back says Dougie, Lets get `im.

    CRASH, BANG, WOLLOP. Everyone jumped as a mighty crash came from the back yard of the cottage, then the door was flung open and the wicked queen staggered in clutching her throat. I`ve swallowed the little blue bag of salt, she cried, but no-one took any notice as they all rushed past her to see what had made the noise.
    Outside there was carnage. Father Christmas`s sledge had crashlanded scoring a direct hit on the outside lav, demolishing it completely, the wreckage of the sledge and the presents it was loaded with lay all about. As the eight dwarfs stared in disbelief the voice of Father C was heard coming from somewhere amid the wreckage.
    No! Prancer you daft bastud, he wailed…
    I said the shmitt house.

    The eight dwarfs rushed to help.
    ………

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Dorset/ Hampshire. south coast
    Posts
    12,216

    Default Re: panto act 2 - sceneII

    Clipper with a hastily put on reindeer costume rushes to tomes aid, with what looked to the audience like a reindeer kicking tome hard on the back , this did what was intended and the little blue packet propelled its self out of his mouth and into the custard simmering on the stove.

    mean while the eight dwarfs and snow white P had pulled farther Xmas from the wreckage and were trying to get the reindeer to check him over ,
    [URL="https://www.facebook.com/buoyfun/[URL]
    Mendezmarine.co.uk

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Brightlingsea, Essex
    Posts
    3,001

    Default Re: panto act 2 - sceneII

    Audience: Look out tcm...BEHIND YOU!
    tcm: What's behind me?
    Audience: A 'mouse'!
    tcm: (scratches nuts with one hand while patting top of head with other) I don't know any mouse!
    Ghostwriter, Moonfish and Cobra: We think you do lad!!
    I wish they would move mornings to a more convenient time of the day...

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Brightlingsea, Essex
    Posts
    3,001

    Default Re: panto act 2 - sceneII

    <span style="color:red"> FLASH! BANG! </span>

    The smoke gradually clears and there sitting astride a rather ferocious looking Bull Merino Sheep and wearing a sequinned thong, a flying hemet and clutching a viscious looking walking stick was Glamdrong the wizard.

    Glamdrong : Balls!! Wrong forum again!

    <span style="colorrange"> FLOOP! </span>

    The strange apparition disappeared as quickly as he had appeared leaving a rather acrid smell of very stale aftershave and a pile of droppings from the incontinent sheep.

    Meanwhile the cast of this VERY amateur dramatic panto wandered aimlessly around rather hoping someone else would take up the plot!
    I wish they would move mornings to a more convenient time of the day...

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    174

    Default Re: panto act 2 - sceneII

    Author: Sunshine Rose
    Subject: Lindsay whats your horse playing name??
    In reply to: Midnighte Pride 's message, "Re: This Is The Home Of Tropical Paridise" on 17:35:42 04/27/01 Fri

    Do you want to be the leader of the mixed horses herd? because that were i put you up, lol. I made 1 new herd so, i made you a lead mare, ok? The lead stallion is Indigo. Hope you enjoy it! and remember to invite as many horses as you like to live in your herd. Buhbye! *The golden coloured mare walks away to her mate* You look at her as she leaves with admeration.

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